How to Create an Effective Personal Site Profile: A Guide for Women

After reading quite a few profiles of vastly varying quality, I've observed a lot of different pitfalls that women fall into that sabotage their chances of success.  All of my suggestions are based off of the assumption that you are looking for dating leading to a long term relationship.  If you're looking to just hook up you can throw must of what I say out the window.

Basics

Save the text-speak for texting (unless you're wanting to attract an 18 year old).  Spell and grammar check your profile (or get a friend to do it for you). 

Honesty

This may sound obvious, but try to avoid even stretching the truth.  Don’t say you’re divorced if you’re separated.  Sure, some people will avoid separated people, but if you lie it will send up a *big* red flag when they find out.  Also, don’t say you are “single” if you’re actually divorced.  This seems to be quite common, and I’m guessing  the person is thinking there is a big stigma to being divorced. For most people I don’t think there is much stigma to being divorced (unless you’re 19 and divorced, or you have three ex-husbands).  Truthfully, past a certain age there’s probably more stigma to being never married than being divorced.

If you have kids, *don’t* lie about it.  I’ve seen this happen rarely, and while it may get you a bit more interest in the short term, this is another huge red flag when the person finds out.  I’ve also seen situations people lie about smoking.  This is a *huge* deal-breaker for some people, so even if you're trying to quit go ahead and say as much.  

There is a tendency for people to try to gloss over any shortcomings they have in appearance.  Women of average build will describe themselves as thin, somewhat overweight women will say they are average, and women well into the obese range will say “a few extra pounds.”  Men pretty much expect this (and are guilty of it as well), but if you are going to do this, you should also have reasonably representative pictures with your profile.  If someone thinks you’re average and you turn out to be obese when you meet in person don’t be surprised when he never calls you again. 

Negativity

Negativity about your ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, or the general male population will scare people away better than almost anything else.  If anything you might end up attracting whatever kind of cretin you are complaining about.  You can be clear on what you are looking for, but do it in a positive or at least neutral manner.  Most people to be around reasonably happy people, so if you come across as bitchy or depressed in your profile you will get a lot less responses.  If your headline says "No more losers" men translate that as "I'm bitter and jaded."

Pictures

Use recent clear pictures.  Stay away from pictures showing you with another man unless you clearly specify its a relative.  If you post slutty pictures don’t be surprised when you attract slutty guys.  Post pictures where you are smiling (I cannot stress this one enough)!  If you don't have any pictures where you are smiling, make some.

Try to avoid clichés

Men have read 100’s of profiles mentioning “walking on the beach” or “being a jeans and t-shirt” girl.  Show some creativity.  Clever and interesting profiles tend to get more responses. 

Don’t be afraid to go into some detail

Profiles that don’t have much information may not scare people off, but they don’t attract as much interest either.  The more of your real “self” you put into a profile the more likely someone compatible  may get an “aha” moment when reading your profile.  Don't be afraid to let some of your personality show in what you write.

Don’t leave basic information out

If you leave smoking blank, men will assume you smoke 3 packs a day and a cigar with each meal.  If you leave religion blank they’ll assume you’re an atheist or goat worshipper (no offense intended to either group).  If you leave body type blank, men will assume you’re huge.  If education is blank, they’ll assume you didn’t finish high school.

Many women often pick a vague choice with respect to desire for children (or leave it blank).  While I can understand you may have mixed feelings its best to try to explain them, since this area can be a *huge* deal-breaker when it comes to relationships.  If you want kids “if you meet the right person” go ahead and say you want kids instead of saying undecided.  If you are truly unsure but lean one way or the other explain that in your profile text.

I hope these tips prove helpful to everyone!  Happy hunting. :)